Sunday, 1 January 2017

New Year Resolutions

Yes, yes, yes, 'tis the season of New Year's resolutions, and I was adamant that any goals I had wouldn't be called New Year's resolutions because the majority of them fail and my goals aren't failing InshaAllah. I'll think of a few and push to achieve them with the renewed feeling we all get when we reach this same position relative to the sun every so often.  The check in at work today was  based on "pledges to the self" which were basically NYRs lol. Off the top of my head one of the things I wrote down was to "love myself more" because it's something I started doing in 2016 but something I know I can extend into this year and my future. From that point I thought more about how I'm going to make this year and subsequently the rest of my life as great as I can. I watched a video by The Patronnes, and they mentioned things like writing goals down and vision boards which I do intend to do in some way shape or form especially as the visual person I am. I then turned to snack on some chocolates from work, given to myself and other employees a while back. I ate the last one, and turned to the little card in it with a small but big enough message.

"Risk disappointment".

I say I'm a big believer in small signs, and this small card was enough of a sign for me, as I know this is something I don't do, I should do and will hopefully get into a healthy habit of doing. Not wanting to risk disappointment feeds and interlinks into many things, one of which is my an unhealthy anxiety in my internal monologue, and I feel like when not-so-positive thoughts get to and affect that level of yourself something's gotta be up.

In my last post I've talked about "blooming", something that I've started and will continue doing and one way in which I hope to do this is risk disappointment and see where if gets me.

I wish you all the best in your NYRs,



I've shared the longest story of all time on my snapchat story reflecting on my 2016, which had me thinking that 20L6 wasn't a complete L like I thought it was earlier. The Ls were there believe me but so were blessings and happiness and glo. I tried to articulate this earlier on my story how the journey we've taken one rotation around the sun has been a weird one, purely because I could never have anticipated that I'll be where I am today at the start of the year 2016 at all. I could have told you some things would happen and they did, I would have told you I'd have done this or I'll be this and I haven't, and there are a few things that I wouldn't even think would happen that did happen, both good and bad and everything in between.

 I tweeted that because i thought I'd be a somewhat completely 'bloomed flower' in the sense that I'd have ticked things off my almost "list of things to do" and in that by completion of those things I'd feel fulfilled. I've achieved some goals and haven't quite reached others but more importantly I've been able to grow and recognise things take time, growth is constant, change is inevitable. As cheesy as that sounds , what I'm trying to say is that I haven't "bloomed" in the way I thought I would, which was more linear and straight forward, but  I've "bloomed " in different ways which have made all the difference.

I can only hope and pray to continue on the path of positive growth.