Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Blessings over Barelys

(Wipes dust collecting on this blog. Fall down seven times, stand up eight, right?)



How many times have I wanted this, longed for that and looked for things without appreciating what I already have?


Many, I realise, as my eyes are opened to all the blessings I have that I never stopped to truly appreciate.

I woke up to my realisation when I was at a youth debate. At that point, the discussion was almost over, and thoughts were being shared. Particularly, a point on how local gyms are too expensive. "£30 - no one has that money to be spending just to keep fit" or something along those lines was said and quite a few more people agreed. But I didn't. Currently I gym (well not exactly in this month of Ramadan lol) and although I don't pay that much yet I was more than happy to accept that I would pay near to that for my membership when my current cheaper price plan ends. But the people around me, very similar in background weren't so keen and aren't able to. It made me literally think "wow" at how fortunate I am in that moment, but my realisation didn't just end with money. *

I got home, and needed a drink of water. I went straight to the water jug and chugged a few down. I can't remember at this point what made me think of Flint, but again another "wow" came to mind as their situation remains without clean drinking water. Water is something that is so overlooked in its importance but water is basically life. How the people in Flint are coping right now is beyond me.

My circle is certi, I can do many things, these are a few of my favourite blessings 



And the train of thought was ready to leave the station. It did, it hasn't stopped and I am currently contemplating methods as to keep it consistently going. I can see why people are into writing their blessings down and putting them in a jar or something - its so easy to be wrapped up in getting somewhere that you forget how far you've come and how much you've got and what a shame that is.

Maybe it's the Ramadan in the air, or the exam free mind, but I am glad I've been awoken to the bountiful life I live, and I hope you come to a point where you see the things you are grateful for too because this train is a m a z i n g.

Sincerely,

Sawda

*I really do hate mentioning money for some reason. Another post for another day, ay?





Sunday, 1 January 2017

New Year Resolutions

Yes, yes, yes, 'tis the season of New Year's resolutions, and I was adamant that any goals I had wouldn't be called New Year's resolutions because the majority of them fail and my goals aren't failing InshaAllah. I'll think of a few and push to achieve them with the renewed feeling we all get when we reach this same position relative to the sun every so often.  The check in at work today was  based on "pledges to the self" which were basically NYRs lol. Off the top of my head one of the things I wrote down was to "love myself more" because it's something I started doing in 2016 but something I know I can extend into this year and my future. From that point I thought more about how I'm going to make this year and subsequently the rest of my life as great as I can. I watched a video by The Patronnes, and they mentioned things like writing goals down and vision boards which I do intend to do in some way shape or form especially as the visual person I am. I then turned to snack on some chocolates from work, given to myself and other employees a while back. I ate the last one, and turned to the little card in it with a small but big enough message.


"Risk disappointment".


I say I'm a big believer in small signs, and this small card was enough of a sign for me, as I know this is something I don't do, I should do and will hopefully get into a healthy habit of doing. Not wanting to risk disappointment feeds and interlinks into many things, one of which is my an unhealthy anxiety in my internal monologue, and I feel like when not-so-positive thoughts get to and affect that level of yourself something's gotta be up.

In my last post I've talked about "blooming", something that I've started and will continue doing and one way in which I hope to do this is risk disappointment and see where if gets me.


I wish you all the best in your NYRs,

😌

2016

I've shared the longest story of all time on my snapchat story reflecting on my 2016, which had me thinking that 20L6 wasn't a complete L like I thought it was earlier. The Ls were there believe me but so were blessings and happiness and glo. I tried to articulate this earlier on my story how the journey we've taken one rotation around the sun has been a weird one, purely because I could never have anticipated that I'll be where I am today at the start of the year 2016 at all. I could have told you some things would happen and they did, I would have told you I'd have done this or I'll be this and I haven't, and there are a few things that I wouldn't even think would happen that did happen, both good and bad and everything in between.



 I tweeted that because i thought I'd be a somewhat completely 'bloomed flower' in the sense that I'd have ticked things off my almost "list of things to do" and in that by completion of those things I'd feel fulfilled. I've achieved some goals and haven't quite reached others but more importantly I've been able to grow and recognise things take time, growth is constant, change is inevitable. As cheesy as that sounds , what I'm trying to say is that I haven't "bloomed" in the way I thought I would, which was more linear and straight forward, but  I've "bloomed " in different ways which have made all the difference.

I can only hope and pray to continue on the path of positive growth.